so why be afraid of everything that poses as a risk? Breathing is a risk, driving is a risk, everything we do is a risk. I promise this year to be more open, take risks, take leaps and see where life leads me. I’ve learned a lot from things and I learned that I am capable of much more than I give myself credit for. So what I get hurt, physically, emotionally, mentally. It happens, and I will heal. But to experience things, to truly live - calls for some action.
Hello life, I’m ready to grab you by the balls and go for a ride. ;D
Feeling like an asshole isn't thee best feeling in the world.
Having someone move in with you, from a different state for your relationship. Then ending it a month later? Jesus. I’m a dick. But, for the first time in MONTHS I am doing stuff for myself. And enjoying myself. Not worrying about my heart or the future. I’m losing weight, and getting shit done for school. Figuring out yourself at 22 isn’t that late? Not that I’ll ever fully know or understands myself or my wants or my needs. But I am walking away learning something. It still isn’t the best thing in the world having someone be broken hearted, hating me. But I understand. I would hate me too.
I only hope she uses this as a learning experience to better herself, but it’s really none of my business anymore and that’s okay too. I’ve been handling this fairly well, through bouts or waves of emotions it’s been tolerable. I needed to be alone. I missed myself so, so, SO much.